Four family relationship laws that you can break

Have you ever noticed how family relationship and people often get distracted by television when it's on ?

They stop a conversation to listen to a segment on a newscast; they move their eyes and ears to the TV screen instead of focusing on and listening to their speaker.

Incredibly can you believe some people establish relationships with TV characters (parasocial relationships) instead of with their spouse, children, and friends. In their minds, they really believe that television is the best solution to their social problems.

Unfortunately, this approach tends to limit people's attentional span, listening and rapport building skills in relationship. Most important, you must think of people's needs and feelings when in a relationship.

Now here are the four family relationship laws you can break that can ruin family and social relationships.

Family relationship #1-The Law of Distraction

Have you ever noticed how the TV set is the focus of the seating arrangements in a room people expect to watch TV, and the sight of it creates a cue to turn it on.

To change this ritual, you can hide your TV set and VCR in a closed cabinet and schedule your viewing time. Remember not to let TV programs and commercials control you use an external cue to trigger a signal when your viewing time is up (timer on your watch, VCR is turned on, touch your remote control).

In fact, new time-controlled chips are now available on the market to help parents prevent their children from using their TVs and VCRs (the V-Chip and TV Allowance machine).

Family relationship #2-The Law of Least Objectionable Program

This Law is a very powerful one. TV broadcasters and advertisers give you a choice between two programs or products. And these presuppose that you will watch at least one of their programs or buy one of their products. You choose among the least objectionable program they present to you (this implies that there are no other solutions available to you when in fact there are zillions). The game is fierce and don't believe anybody who suggests otherwise.

Family relationship #3-The Law of Inertia

It's very simple, if you fail to move and consistently plan family and group activities for fun and pleasure, you'll be glued to your TV set. Really, we all need a sense of family and community to feel love, attraction, commonality, and security. Now here are five strategies that can help you control your viewing time.

Five family relationship viewing strategies

1. Flash a sign or picture on your screen. 2. Trigger a sound alarm. 3. Pick up your remote control and change your programming button. 4. List your viewing hours on a post-it note stuck to your TV and computer screen. 5. Produce your own videos.

In addition, you can produce video letters you can send to family or friends who own a VCR. Focus your camera on a close-up of your face. And then talk to your viewer as if she was right in front of you.

Be articulate and friendly. Don't read your letter-script word for word. But follow your basic thoughts and ideas. Also, be spontaneous and creative. At the same time, give your correspondent a tour of your home.

And remember if you want your children to learn, you must:

One, find out what your children's learning strategies are (visual, auditory, or kinesthetic) and meet them consistently.

Two, give them what they need to learn "how to learn," and never get trapped in the mind set of "you do it because I tell you to do it."

Three, use your enthusiasm to teach them new skills.

Four, ask questions that encourage them to challenge what they see, hear, and feel about television.

Five, be spontaneous and playful use your TV, VCR, and computer to create special moments.

Remember the quality of your family relationship with your children and friends comes down to the quality of your commitment to making it work. Really you must generate effort and energy to really get what you want out of life.

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Family relationship #4-The Law of Familiarity

What do you think can happen to family relationship when familiarity sets in?

Enthusiasm decreases, then negative cues are formed, which are the primary killers of family relationship. To prevent negative consequences, be absolutely sure you're not focusing on another person when you're feeling negative emotions. And don't let arguments get out of control, use pattern interrupts with each other. Be playful!

Dr. Louis Sullivan, former Secretary of Health Services in the United States, suggests that families keep a Daily Journal of how much television they watch, plan physical activities together, organize family rituals together, and organize surprise activities or outings so a family can stay together and learn values together.

And according to recent studies by the American Psychological Association, children who watch television tend to be more obese and eat less nourishing foods.

Also incredibly, families who watch more than 20 hours per week spend approximately only 17 hours per week together that is a 45% decrease since 1965. And Dr. Louis Sullivan attributes today's high rate of divorce to this fact. He believes the more children and parents stay together and do activities together, the more they will stay together and the more they will build strong family relationship.

And I agree. To discover the power of The Success Program, click here to read more about family relationship, success and the media.

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© 2002 by Pierre Provost. All rights reserved. This document may not be copied in part or full without express written permission from the publisher. 2475 Orient Park Drive, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada K1B 4N2 Phone: 1-613-824-6758   Fax: 1-661-452-3394

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